goin steady


So lately I've been thinking about "dating". There seems to be a huge misunderstanding about the term between different generations. For example: my aunt and uncle who are in their late 30's don't seem to think that "dating," (or I should say the phrase "seeing each other") exists. According to them you are either "boyfriend & girlfriend" or you're not. There is no in between. They apparently became an item in a couple of days.

Did that always happened up until now? I mean look at 'Sex and the City.' The whole show is about the "in-between". All they do is date date date! And in movies the guy always takes the girl out on dates.

So I tried to explain the gray area between "dating" and being "official" to my aunt and uncle. And I guess I really couldn't do it effectively. Although I'm pretty sure I know exactly how it goes and it makes perfect sense to me. You meet a guy. You go out on a date. You go out on another date. You go out on another date. You go out on another date. So, what are you guys now? He's certainly not your boyfriend, is he?

Let's go over some definitions, shall we?

Dating - Dating is a form of courtship, and may include any social activity undertaken by, typically, two persons with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. The word refers to the act of meeting and engaging in some mutually agreed upon social activity. Traditional dating activities include entertainment or a meal.

Thank you Wikipedia.

Here's more:

Of a couple, to be in the early stages of a relationship
where they go out on dates to
find out what each other is like, as a prelude
to actually being a fully fledged couple.
"James and Brenda where dating until James
tried to fuck her on the third date."

seeing each other
all the fun off having a boyfriend/girlfriend. but
no change to facebook relationship status.
"have you heard bob and barb are 'seeing each other'"

Thank you UrbanDictionary.com.

So here's what I'm thinking. Back in the day, people didn't mess around. When you met someone who you clicked with, even if you were young that was that. There were no games, no "dating" no "seeing each other". They just grew a set of balls and said I'm either doing this for real or I'm out. Then BOOM they made babies.

On the other hand, is it better to play the field? Date a bunch of people, see what's out there, have a little fun. Make sure you know for sure that you're with the right person. Everyone's getting divorced man! I know that none of my elders went to college, so once they started working... marriage and kids was the next step. Nowadays there are multiple paths after highschool: college, grad school, internships, study abroad programs, work (eventually). No one is in a rush. No one I know anyway.

UrbanDictionary.com has advised us all to not remain in the "seeing each other" period for more than 1-3 months. They have also provided us with this wonderful definition for "seeing each other" which is quite insightful:

When the male half of the relationship does not have the balls to ask out and FINALLY consign commend and commit to the girl he is keeping on hold. Seeing each other is seen as
- (men): The test drive, does he really want this car after he rides it or should he get another one?
- (women): The time in which they believe their still getting to know each other, presume their not ready for a relationship and dream that their going out, without the tags, a thought which has been planted by the spouse who is in denial.

I love it.


  1. lol love the insight...particularly Urban Dictionary's. i've actually been thinking a lot about dating recently (and the fact that i'm not doing any of it currently) so great minds must think alike!

  2. nah you certainly don't date, you can't even catch names after you hook up with them

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